Yep I know, I just posted and I'm already back for more! Actually, I just read an article that really hit me, I felt the need to comment on it. The article is called 15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy. It really is a great article with so many good points! I relate to all 15 points.
1. Give up your need to always be right. I'm bad at this, really really bad at this. I don't know what it is but I always feel the need to be right. Which leads to arguments. And me constantly trying to get the last word. But it is more important to be kind than be right.
2. Give up your need for control. This one is probably the easiest one for me to let go. Though there are plenty of times I feel the need to be in control of something (or someone).
3. Give up on blame. This one is tough. No one wants to take responsibility for negative things. But it is so important that we don't lay the blame on others.
4. Give up on your self-defeating self-talk. This one will probably be the hardest to let go of. I just constantly have the "I'm not good enough" thought running through my mind. I've been a self-defeater since I was very young. It's more ingrained in me than my yelling is.
5. Give up on limiting your beliefs. This one goes hand in hand with number 4. Because I self-defeat so much, its ingrained in my mind that I'm not good enough and will never amount to much. But here's the thing, I AM good enough. And I have already amounted to something very important, a mother.
6. Give up complaining. Oh boy, this one... this one is going to be tough. I complain... oh do I complain. I complain without even realizing I'm doing it. I complain about being tired (very often), I complain about not feeling well, I complain about head aches, body aches, nerves, EVERYTHING.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. We all criticize, most don't even realize we are doing it. But I like how the article worded it, "we all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood." SO true!
8. Give up your need to impress others. Gosh, this one dates waaaay back for me. I have lived most my entire life trying to impress other people. Caring what they thought about me, wanting desperately to be one of the "cool kids." But you know what? Its not important. It doesn't matter what table you sit at in the lunch area. Those around you do not define who you are. Being popular does not make you a better person. And we all discover that once high school is over, none of that matters any more.... And yet, we still as adults, form clicks, and struggle to fit in. Why? WHY is it so important for us to be better than the person next to us?
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change, its scary! But its also necessary. Life cannot go on without change. If you're not changing, you're probably dead.
10. Give up labels. Judging is a part of human nature. There are plenty of times where judgment is appropriate. But I learned that when I stopped judging at least one person, that opened the door for that person to become a friend. Amazing how that happens.
11. Give up on your fears. How does one just let go of their fears? Fear is self preservation... It is also limiting.
12. Give up on your excuses. Excuses are like butts, everyone has one and they all stink.
13. Give up the past. No matter how much we wish for it, it will NEVER return. When we focus so much on the past, we lose sight of the present. We start missing things, important things. Like our children growing up. The only way we can witness that, is to live in the present.
14. Give up attachment. Ok, this one.. this one is me. I am an attached person. Driven by fear maybe? I guess I've lost so many friends, and I don't have much of a relationship with my side of the family outside of my parents (and by parents I mean mother and step-father). My deepest attachment is to my husband. Wow, this is hard to type! My attachment level to my husband is probably unhealthy. The article said "where there is love, there cant be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist." Ouch. I have such a hard time with being ok with my husband going out and doing his own thing. Whether it be working out, hanging out with friends, going camping, going biking, going hiking. Over night trips? Forget about it. I cant handle being home over night alone. I remember the first time my husband was going to be away from me over night. It was less than a year after we got married. His sisters husband was up in the mountains hunting by himself, and thought he was having a heart attack. My sister in law was visiting her parents two hours away from her home and where her husband was hunting. It was late, she was tired, and she had a baby under 1. At the urging of his parents and out of his desire to hunt the next day with his brother in law. My husband offered to drive his sister home. He would be gone over night and the entire next day. I had a panic attack while he was on his way there. I made him drop his sister off at her house, and turn around and drive 2 hours home. In the middle of the night. He loves me. But I am selfish.
15. Give up living your life to other people's expectations. This one drives my husband crazy. Most everything I do is because my mother expects it. He says I give her way to much power in my life. And he's right.
SO, while I am working on The Orange Rhino Challenge to better myself, I will also be working on letting go of these 15 things.
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