Six Years Ago

This past weekend was a crazy one. I hardly had a chance to sit down to breathe let alone blog. But here I am Monday morning, finally getting a chance to sit down and blog. This was a rough weekend. I cracked, at least twice. And it kills me. But in falling, I was able to recognize yet another trigger.

Stress: I am seriously the biggest stress case there ever was. Because I was so busy, I became stressed. Because I was stressed, I lost it.

There was a lot of good in the weekend as well. Being so busy wasn't all bad. There were plenty of learning experiences for me. And learning experiences are always a positive thing.

Now on to the post title. Six years ago today was essentially the biggest day of my life, it was the day I met my eternal companion. It was the day I met my husband. It is incredible how quickly time passes! I can hardly believe that six years have passed and we now have two beautiful children.

Simple choices can change our lives forever. It was one simple decision that lead me to meeting my husband. It was one simple decision that lead me to The Orange Rhino. Though I am still on my journey to a yell free life. My life has already changed. I was able to make it through yesterday without yelling. So lets shoot for one more! I can do this!

We All Have Bad Days

Sometimes we fall down, but its SO important that we don't give up! You can never fail as long as you keep trying.

Last night I slipped up. Thursdays have notoriously been the hardest day in the week for me for months. Its usually the day I yell the most, or have one of my regular emotional break downs. I yelled at my poor little princess because she would not stop touching the laptop. I did ask her multiple times very kindly. I was yelling before I even realized that I was. It broke my heart for two reasons, the first because my little princess just doesn't deserve that. Second, because after a week of trying SO HARD and doing SO well! After near misses and easy breezy days. I cracked, I broke, and I fell off the Rhino (so to speak).

It was a learning experience and helped me identify another trigger:
deliberate disobedience: Classic for most every two year old.

Though I fell I will NOT give up! Here I am at the beginning of day 8. Starting all over again. I know I can do this! I knew there would be hard days. I knew there was a chance (a really good one) that I would break. SO back to square one I go.

Triggers

Whew, last night was tough! There were multiple times I recognized some of my triggers and just had to walk away before I lost it. There is just something about the baby crying, the toddler shouting, and the husband blasting Josh Groban on the stereo all at once that seems to agitate me. Which leads me to my first trigger:
Noise- I have noticed that I just cant handle high noise situations very well. I cant listen to my music very loud or it stresses me out. Not in the car, not at home.
Crying- One child or the other crying I can handle. Both of them at the same time... that tends to set me off.
Fussing- Yes, there is a difference, at least in my book.
Whining- Two year olds are particularly good at this.
Too much energy- Most time this doesn't bother me too much. But bedtime is a different story. My husband is REALLY good at riling up the princess right before bed. He does it almost every night. When I've already faced too many triggers in the day, this one nearly puts me over the edge.

I was able to survive the day, but barely. At one point I ended up having to hand the baby over to the hubs and walk away. The hubs was pretty frustrated and just wanted me to stick it out. He's still getting used to my challenge. He thinks my blog is silly and that it should just be easy to turn off the yell. Easy for him, he's never been a yeller. But he complied after I explained that if I didn't walk away right that second, I would lose it. He really is a supportive husband, he just has a hard time understanding me, and why I am the way I am. We grew up in completely different ways. His family is pretty near perfect (I'm very thankful for this, and not in a sarcastic way). My family.... well we have our issues... lots of them.

I've had friends ask me "how did you turn out? How are you normal with a family like yours?" Sometimes I wonder. I'm pretty darn sure I'm not normal, I'm just really good at faking it. That being said, I am more rounded than most of my family members for one simple reason, my step-dad. He really has made all the difference in my life. The rock of stability in a sea of chaos. I'm so thankful he is a part of my life. I call him at least on a weekly basis, just to talk. I have also called him when I'm completely at my wits end, on days that my hubby is not available to call (work, school, etc).

Sorry that last paragraph was kind of a tangent but hey, I never said this blog would be perfect.

So far I have made it through 6 days! Though I've had a few close calls, I have managed to not yell. After today a week will have passed since I began my journey. Its been tough this far, and I know it will get harder before it gets easier. But I can do this! 6 days down! Here's to 6 more!!