Finally Back

So its been a while. I kind of gave up for a bit. I just got so down on myself, dwelling on the past, and on the bad that I just gave in. Then several things struck all at once, and whipped me back to reality. The past month I have felt as if I have been surrounded by tragedy. Not in my own home, but in the homes around me. A family in my neighborhood had a still born. A newly-wed co-worker lost her husband. Another co-workers husband was diagnosed with leukemia, her dear husband is the same age as my darling husband. And most difficult for me, a dear friend lost her child. Her sweet baby was only two weeks older than little handsome.
At first with all of this tragedy striking, I sunk back into my depressed self that I have so frequently resorted to. But after a few days I realized how truly blessed I am. As tragic as these events have been for those around me, they have helped me better see the beauty in life. They have helped me see how truly fragile life is. And that tragedy can strike anyone at anytime. These events have helped me strengthen my resolve. The last thing I want my loved ones to remember me by (should anything happen) is yelling. It helped me realize how truly important The Orange Rhino Challenge is.
I have been silently working on the challenge. I have had great days, and I have had bad days. Yesterday was a bit of both. I was able to make it all the way to bed time before I broke. Handsome was crying constantly unless he was in my arms. The Princess, well, she was on one. A naughty little cretin with way too much energy. I lost it for a moment.  But I wont let one small moment stop me. I am back with a new fire in my heart. I am not going to let myself sink. It wont be easy, but I know that I can do it. I know I can! I want my children to know how much I love them. To truly know it by the way I serve them, by the way I speak to them, and by the way I love them.
So here I am, restarting my journey after a short hiatus. To love more, and to yell less.